THE CINEMA

I DON'T GO TO THE MOVIES MUCH. I HATE PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY ONES I DON'T KNOW. I FIND PEOPLE TO BE REPUGNANT, SMELLY AND CREEPY. DON'T BELIEVE ME? CHECK THE NEWS.

SO HERE AND THERE I WATCH A MOVIE AT HOME AND THIS PAST WEEKEND I SAW A PAIR OF GREAT MOVIES AND I GUESS I STARTED WITH THE WRONG ONE BECAUSE I CAN'T SEEM TO FORGET THE SECOND. SO I GUESS HERE'S MY MOVIE REVIEW OF THE LAST 2 MOVIES I HAVE SEEN...

MONEYBALL... HEARD IT WAS GOOD AND IF JONAH HILL, WHOM IS A GENERALLY SUPERBAD ACTOR, NOW HAS A NOMINATION OF AN OSCAR ITS WORTH SEEING HIS PERFORMANCE WHILST NOT WEARING A RICHARD PRYOR T-SHIRT. BRAD PITT IS WELL, HE'S BRAD PITT. HE'S ACCOMPLISHED, WELL EXPERIENCED, AND THE LADIES THINK HE'S EASY ON THE EYES. HE PLAYS A GUY NAMED BILLY BEANE AND IS I GUESS ONE OF THE SCOUTS FOR A POOR BASEBALL TEAM. POOR MEANING THEY ONLY HAVE SO MUCH MONEY TO PUT INTO THE POOL TO PAY THE PLAYERS THEY CAN GET... ITS A FEEL GOOD MOVIE BUT THE STANDOUT WAS BEANE'S DAUGHTER'S SONG. I FORGET IT RIGHT NOW BUT I COULD TELL IT WAS NOT UNLIKE RUMOR WILLIS' PERFORMANCE ON THE STERN SHOW... RUMOR'S SONG WAS ENTITLED "NOTICE ME" AND THE REFRAIN PLEADED WITH HER PARENTS TO NOTICE HER. HER PARENTS  = BRUCE WILLIS AND THE NEWLY RECOGNIZED DRUG ADDICT DEMI MOORE.

THE MOVIE FOLLOWS BEANE'S NEED TO CONSTRUCT A RAGTAG TEAM UNDER THE SALARY CAP AND JONAH HILL'S CHARACTER IS THE GURU BEHIND PICKING THE PLAYERS OUT. SOME KIND OF MATHEMATICAL EQUATION BY AN AUTHOR BILL SOMEONE... TURNS OUT TO WORK OUT WELL AND LONG STORY SHORT WITHOUT GIVING AWAY THE MOVIE, ITS A GOOD MOVIE. I RECOMMEND IT AND HEY, IF YER A DUDE BY YOURSELF, BRING A TISSUE IF YOU GET EMOTIONAL AT GOOD MOVIES. PERSONALLY I AM KNOWN TO BE LIKE MY MOTHER AND CRY AT COKE COMMERCIALS, SO THE HAPPY TEARS CAME AND WENT... ... ...

NEXT CAME A MOVIE CALLED THE MESSENGER. YEPPERS... WE WENT FROM A FEEL GOOD HAPPY LIGHT MOVIE TO A ROUGH SAD AND SERIOUSLY DEEP HORRID DRAMA. IT FOLLOWS 2 SOLDIERS WHOSE TASK IT IS TO TELL THE FAMILIES OF WAR CASUALTIES ON THE BATTLEFIELD. IF YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER DIED IN THE WAR, YOU GOT A KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR BY ONE OF THESE TYPE OF GUYS AND MAN, DID THIS MOVIE HIT A DIFFERENT SPOT THAN MONEYBALL. WOODY HARRELSON PLAYS THE VETERAN OF DOING THIS TYPE OF WORK SHOWING THE ROPES TO THE YOUNGER SOLDIER WHO IS A FEW MONTHS AWAY FROM GETTING OUT.  EVERY TIME YOU HEAR THAT BEEPER GO OFF IN THE MOVIE WHICH SIGNALS HIS NEED TO BE READY FOR THE NEXT FAMILY, YOU KNOW YOU MAY AS WELL FORGET ABOUT FEELING HAPPY FOR THE NEXT 10 MINUTES. BUT AGAIN WITHOUT GIVING AWAY THE MOVIE BECAUSE IT TAKES AN INTERESTING STORYLINE, ITS TRULY A HEAAAVY MOVIE.

IT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT PEOPLE I KNOW IN MY FAMILY THAT WERE IN THE MILITARY AND HOW IT WOULD BE TO TRY AND REACT KINDLY TO THESE SOLDIERS WITH A DIFFICULT JOB ANYWAY... ONE OF THE SCENES OF THE MOVIE WAS FAIRLY POWERFUL I WILL HAVE TO MEMORABLY TELL YOU ABOUT NOW. THE MOVIE IS FROM 2009 SO I DON'T THINK I AM GIVING ANYTHING AWAY... STEVE BUSCHEMI PLAYS A FATHER WHO LOST HIS SON IN THE WAR AND HE TREATS THE TWO SOLDIERS PRETTY BADLY, DOWN TO SCREAMING AND SPITTING THE TWO MEN IN THE FACE UPON HEARING THE NEWS. LATER IN THE MOVIE HE RETURNS TO THE SOLDIERS' HOMES TO APOLOGIZE FOR HIS ACTIONS AND ASKS FOR FORGIVENESS. THE YOUNGER SOLDIER LOOKS HIM IN THE EYE AND SAYS "SIR, THERE'S NOTHING TO FORGIVE..." ACKNOWLEDGING WITH AN OUTSTRETCHED HAND THAT NOONE KNOWS HOW THEY'D REACT TO HEARING THEY JUST LOST THEIR SON OR DAUGHTER.

ALL IN ALL GREAT FLICKS, I RECOMMEND BOTH, JUST WATCH THE MESSENGER FIRST. BEST TO FEEL SHITTY FOR 2 HOURS THEN FEEL GOOD WITH MONEYBALL FOR 2 MORE... THE OTHER WAY AROUND MAY MAKE YOU CRY IN YOUR BED TALKING YOURSELF OUT OF DIRE PERSONAL INJURY FOR AN HOUR BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP. 

NOT THAT I KNOW ANYONE THAT WOULD DO THAT.

III